Calorie counter wants me to weigh myself daily. That's miserable motivation. I jog because I weigh too much.
I've never been thin. I got pregnant and was awkward for nine months. I had my baby and I was sort of weird for six weeks. Then ... tada! I was not back to normal.
I carried my baby, walked to the store, used the apartment gym, breastfed. I got back to normal. But again I've never been thin, so normal wasn't good enough. I got depressed, got bigger, went crazy got smaller. Fast forward to now and I'd like to tell you my weight but I'm just not there yet.
The point is that as someone who was never thin but was always happy with my body I am at a loss. I have to lose weight. I've never done that on purpose. I have to sculpt shit. Boo. I have to be more fit at 32 than I have ever been and I'm starting at the worst possible place.
I'm writing because the weight won't be conquered without fierce effort which requires: 1) acknowledging where I am and how (very) far I have to go and 2) documenting the whole thing so I can look back on my efforts and know that I'm making progress.
God help me! Amen.
